Life is a struggle for many people. That is the tie that binds all of us together because we are all up against something. We all doubt our sanity at times. But the good news is that it is a fact that only sane people doubt their sanity, only insane people are certain of theirs.

Asking for help is difficult for many of us. There is something in asking for help that makes us feel like we are failures for having to do so. We choose to continue to struggle rather than hurt our pride by reaching out to others. Yet ironically when friends and family ask us for help we usually feel honored to be asked.

Recently the series Men in Trees had an inspiring episode with a good lesson to it. It was a legend about a mother who gave her son a special task. There was a very large rock in the middle of the river and she asked him to move the rock out using ALL of his strength. He tried and tried but could not do it by himself. Finally he gave up and asked his mother to help him, and together they moved the rock out of the river.

The boy was very disappointed in himself because he had failed the task he had been given. Then his mother told him she was proud of him because sometimes using ALL your strength, means asking for help. He had actually passed the test.

Reaching out to others for help is difficult at the best of times because we do not want to inconvenience or trouble other people. But the reality of it is that most people feel special when they are trusted enough to be let into our inner worlds. That's the wonderful thing about family and close friends though, that through the years we usually take turns carrying each other.

Being able to talk about your troubles is very therapeutic even if a single problem does not get solved. But usually a problem shared equals a problem half solved. The more a person shares about what is going on for them the better we understand them. And being understood is pure soul food.

When you have HD asking for help becomes that much more difficult because we are afraid if we show weakness that people will see us as less capable all the way around. Or treat us differently. The only thing that is worse than asking for help, is not asking for help and then resenting our loved ones for not being mind readers and knowing that we are struggling inside. The one and only way that people are ever going to know what is going on in your head is if you open up and talk to them about it.

No matter what you are struggling with at this very moment there is always someone safe to talk to. Sometimes that is our family and friends. Sometimes it is a counselor, or real life support groups, or on-line support groups. There are also various medical professionals from your home nurse to your doctor. It all starts with asking for help. It does not make us weak, but rather it proves our strength.

Some people who are struggling lash out in anger out of sheer frustration in their inability to put their feelings into words. Learning to use your words can take a life time to achieve. But here is an aide I was taught many years back that I found/find helpful. I feel _____because _____. All anyone has to do is just fill in the blanks. For example--I feel upset because I can not do all the things I use to do.

Knowing you are not alone in whatever you are facing is such a huge part of coping with the hard knocks that life delivers. It is so easy to isolate ourselves from others when we do not share our burdens. Plus sharing your own burdens opens the door for other people to share back. I have noticed that if people share a little with someone then the person usually shares a little back. But when you share deeply with someone they often share deeply back. It also is a shortcut past all the small stuff and enables us to get to the heart of the matter more quickly.

Going to the HD camp in BC was a huge help to me at the time I needed it the most. Even though I was surrounded by family and friends who loved me, I felt very isolated in my Huntington's. It was back in 2000 when I went for the first time and the friends I have met there are all amazing people. In going to camp I was in fact asking for help although I did not realize that at the time. Reaching out back then was the best decision I ever made. And meeting other people just like me was a life altering experience.

There was a lot of shame in HD families for many generations. In many cases it was easier to isolate their HD loved ones that to try to explain HD to the people in their community. For some HD families it was their own embarrassment of their HD loved ones symptoms/actions. And the other families it was for the protection of their loved ones. To protect them from being stared at or ridiculed by people who just did not get it. There really was not a lot of help available then for people. Not like there is today.

We all need a little help to sort things out at times. And when someone does ask us for help we need to be honest with them about how we see things. They say to be a completely balanced person everyone needs at least one person in their life who will be completely honest with them. It is hard to own our own shortcomings but everybody has them. Advice is such a funny thing. When we give it to others it's advice, but when others give it to us it's often seen as interference.

Having pride is a very good thing. But having too much pride will cost you a lot of relationships in the long run. Needing other people is what makes us human. So if you are feeling down or isolated then reach out to someone in your corner of the world. The support and understanding you need is there for the asking. No one ever needs to be alone in their struggles, just reach out.

Blessed are they who can give without remembering and take without forgetting.